I can't figure out how to breathe without your air supply
I keep trying to unplug the life support but the nurses stop me
I try to kick the IV addiction but I can't remember how to live, to function without it
Once I thought I made it to the door when you hypnotized me with your generic oxygen and led me back to my bed
My heart no longer beats with yours but you are still the blood flow
The poison from your perfect lips' medication is sweeter than the candy of your tired arms
Choose my life next
Take the pain away with you when visiting hours are over
I, I tried to recall your name, death
They all called me crazy, called me crazy, call me crazy
But I remember and I believe in you
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| A photo of the actual notebook this poem was written in. 2007 |
They all wear masks, am I really that contagious?
I try to ask but you're back and the needle is so familiar and the taste of its poison in my vein is like no other
Into a dream, a nightmare of fixed reality but still I see the paper gowns and I still see you
If you just touched me I'd wake, or fall even deeper into the pool of pills and syrups you've been feeding me
Either way, I long for the comfort of your cloak, the serenity of your silent savior
Each step closer makes my body convulse in the simplicity of being frightened of my dependency
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